3 September, Tuesday — Recognising God’s Hand

Sep 3 – Memorial for St. Gregory the Great, Pope and Doctor           

St. Gregory (540-590) collected the melodies and plain chants so associated with him, that they are now known as Gregorian Chants. He was elected by unanimous acclamation for pope. Incidentally, he was also the first monk to be pope. Before his papacy, he turned his home into a Benedictine monastery, and used his money to build six monasteries in Sicily and one in Rome. He became a missionary to England upon seeing English children being sold in the Roman Forum.

  • Patron Saint Index

1 Cor 2:10-16
Lk 4:31-37

“I know who you are: the Holy One of God!”

When I read the Gospel passage for today, I found myself wondering how the demon spirit (who had possessed a man at the synagogue where Jesus was speaking) could recognise Jesus and even declare Him as “The Holy One of God!” while the people of Capernaum could only wonder about Jesus’ identity and be amazed at His authority. It reminds me of the Canaanite woman (Mt 15:21–28) who successfully persevered in begging Jesus to heal her possessed daughter, even though she was a Gentile. At a recent homily about the Canaanite woman, the priest remarked that Jesus could have decided to fulfil her request as a lesson to the people around Him – including His disciples – who had taken Him and their faith for granted.

But perhaps I am more similar to the Capernaum townsfolk than I realise, in not being able to recognise God’s presence and signs. The past few months have been an emotional rollercoaster in terms of my career, which could have been a missed opportunity to discern our Lord’s presence and strengthen my faith. First, I received an update that I would not be able to stay at my current position after the end of this year. Although I had already been wondering if I should move on from my workplace, the shock of this news eclipsed the gentle guidance of our Lord and caused me much anxiety, as I tried to decide my direction for next year. Although an opportunity soon appeared (which immediately made me wonder if it was a gift from God), the underlying barriers it came with proved to be immensely discouraging (which then made me wonder if it wasn’t a gift from God after all).

Nonetheless, I decided to press on, mainly because it was the main option I had, all the while spending fretful sessions in adoration and murmuring several Surrender Novenas, probably more for my own peace of mind. Even though I finally managed to confirm my new position, its uncertainties temper my overall relief and gratitude, and I still find myself wondering where our Lord had been throughout the entire harrowing experience, especially since I had earlier believed that He had already led me to my current position.

Yet on hindsight, I realise that a number of recent Sunday mass readings have touched on the need to trust in God and on God’s ability to provide, notably the passage when Jesus wakes from his nap to calm the storm (Mk 4:35–41) and the feeding of the five thousand (Jn 6:1–16). Indeed, the weekend after I received the news of my contract termination, I was almost moved when the priest commented in his homily that sometimes the word “No” could stand for “Next Opportunity”. But I probably felt gratified about such signs for just 1–2 days, before I gave in again to my anxiety and tendency to be a “complaint queen” to my friends (who were also unrecognised blessings in their willingness to provide a listening ear!). Even now, I still have a niggling unease about what lies ahead, or whether I made the right decision, though I tell myself that God will continue to provide. It seems really difficult to move beyond the ‘amazed’ phase that the Capernaum townspeople went through, to move beyond my anxiety and cynicism, to knowledge of and trust in God.

But the example of the apostles gives me reassurance and inspiration. I was intrigued to learn from a podcast by Dr Edward Sri on the feeding of the five thousand, that two of the apostles at the scene (Philip and Andrew) had also been present at the wedding at Cana, yet had still lacked the faith that Jesus would provide food for the crowd. And if Jesus knew and understood his apostles’ shortcomings, He will know and understand mine as well. 

Perhaps this realisation is precisely where God is now and is calling me to learn. After all, as Fr Mike Schmitz said (link), we learn to trust in God in times of uncertainty. So, I have to offer up my doubts, my frustrations, my inability to recognise God (even when I have good intentions to) to Him, trusting that He knows better what I need and asking for the grace to continually recognise His hand.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Jaclyn Lam)

Prayer: Lord, keep us close to You. Help us to recognise You and develop a relationship with You which can withstand the ups and downs we encounter.

Thanksgiving: We thank you Lord, for always being here for us even though we may shortchange You, or take You for granted.

 

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