22 May, Thursday — Resetting for Peace

May 22 – Memorial for St. Rita of Cascia, Religious

St. Rita (1386-1457) was the daughter of Antonio and Amata Lotti, a couple known as the Peacemakers of Jesus; they had Rita late in life. From her early youth, Rita visited the Augustinian nuns at Cascia, Italy, and showed interest in a religious life. However, when she was 12, her parents betrothed her to Paolo Mancini, an ill-tempered, abusive individual who worked as town watchman, and who was dragged into the political disputes of the Guelphs and Ghibellines. Disappointed but obedient, Rita married him when she was 18, and was the mother of twin sons. She put up with Paolo’s abuses for 18 years before he was ambushed and stabbed to death. Her sons swore vengeance on the killers of their father, but through the prayers and interventions of Rita, they forgave the offenders.

Upon the deaths of her sons, Rita again felt the call to religious life. However, some of the sisters at the Augustinian monastery were relatives of her husband’s murderers, and she was denied entry for fear of causing dissension. Asking for the intervention of St. John the Baptist, St. Augustine of Hippo, and St. Nicholas of Tolentino, she managed to bring the warring factions together, not completely, but sufficiently that there was peace, and she was admitted to the monastery of St. Mary Magdalen at age 36.

Rita lived 40 years in the convent, spending her time in prayer and charity, and working for peace in the region. She was devoted to the Passion, and in response to a prayer to suffer as Christ, she received a chronic head wound that appeared to have been caused by a crown of thorns, and which bled for 15 years.

She was confined to her bed the last four years of her life, eating little more than the Eucharist, teaching and directing the younger sisters. Near the end, she had a visitor from her home town who asked if she’d like anything. Rita’s only request was a rose from her family’s estate. The visitor went to the home, but it being January, knew there was no hope of finding a flower; there, sprouted on an otherwise bare bush, was a single rose blossom.

Among the other areas, Rita is well-known as a patron of desperate, seemingly impossible causes and situations. This is because she has been involved in so many stages of life – wife, mother, widow, and nun, she buried her family, helped bring peace to her city, saw her dreams denied and fulfilled – and never lost her faith in God, or her desire to be with Him.

• Patron Saint Index

Acts 15:7-21
Jn 15:9-11

“I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy be complete.”

Around this time of the year, I usually find myself reflecting on life so far and what may lie ahead. It’s a good half-way point in the year, to reset and reorder the rest of the year. Too many times I find that the first few months of the year pass by in such a whirlwind of ‘busy-ness’, that I have hardly the time to breathe nor think. Like a whirlwind spinning out of control, my life is dictated by the needs of others — family, work, school activities, festivals. It is all part of life, and I am blessed and thankful for it, to be alive and have a family to care for, gainful employment and reasons and people to celebrate things with. Yet, as I grow older, a small voice at the back of my mind always asks if there is anything more to life, my existence here on earth.

In my erstwhile youth, my sights were bigger, more short-term. But now with some wisdom from the years (hopefully), my sights are simpler, longer-term, less self-serving. I remember being in a bit of a dilemma at, I guess, what you’d call the mid-life point. I thought I had to do something big, something life-changing. I kept struggling to find God’s purpose for me. But I also let other things distract me. Time was a big distraction – I kept thinking I was running out of time. The prime of my youth was limited. And so, I kept second-guessing, I kept forcing God’s hand. “This must be it,” I would reason, even if I didn’t feel quite right about doing something. But then I would do it anyway. But something else also happened.

God allowed me to go down that path. And when I realized that maybe it wasn’t it, I was upset with myself for wasting time, but I have since learned to have faith that all things would make sense in the end. All the dots would connect, even if I did take the longer route. There were mistakes I had to make, things that I had to learn. And one of the biggest things I learnt was obedience and patience. All things happen in God’s time, even revealing His purpose for me.

My roles in life have evolved since, but I know what God’s calling is for me. I know I am slowly getting there. Some days I feel impatient, but I know that God is trying to mould me, preparing me for what comes next. There are things that I need to be first for now, like being the best example of Jesus’ love for my children. Preparing their faith foundation is my way of leaving a legacy, and the way I am trying to do that is by reflecting that faith in God in my daily life, so they can see it. I’m learning about being a Proverbs 31 woman and wife. So many rich lessons there to be learnt — to be a pillar of integrity and love.

I am truly grateful that God slowed down the time for me to do this. I have understood that each person arrives at their destination in different ways according to God; and if I do all things according to God, well, that’s where the harmony is. I don’t quite know how to explain it, but I am more at peace with myself now that I’ve handed the reins to God. I’m not forcing His hand anymore but trusting that He will guide mine. I have understood that there is no ‘prime of youth’ to achieve things; our whole lives are being primed for God’s plan. Now I understand what it means, that when you abide in God, then your joy will be complete. And I think that this is what my yearly resolution has always been about, not to find or be the next big thing, but to just enjoy the simple feeling of being at peace – with myself and with God.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Annette Soo)

Prayer: Lord, I am stubborn and impatient, but I am also human. In times of my impatience and frustrations, still my heart Lord, quieten my mind and mouth, that I may hear You speak and that I may listen.

Thanksgiving: Lord, all these years You have brought me safe thus far. But it is through these years that I have come to know You, to learn from You, to love You. Thank you for blessing me so abundantly, even during the times when I failed to see things as a blessing. I pray that I will always be in Your peace and love, and only then will my joy be complete.