1 July, Tuesday — I am here.

Tuesday of Week 13 in Ordinary Time

Gen 19:15-29
Mt 8:23-27

And as he hesitated, the men took him by the hand, and his wife and two daughters because of the pity the Lord felt for him. They led him out and left him outside the town.

Today’s readings tell us of God’s mercy and grace. God extends His grace, He calls us to have faith in Him and take the leap forward. But we have choices and free will, and the choices we make have consequences.

There were several times in my life when God called me to move forward. Most of the time, I felt uncomfortable, afraid, and full of doubt. I disliked change — like most people. One moment that stands out was about ten years ago, when I felt strongly led to leave my job.

At the time, I had a stable career and, by most measures, life was comfortable. But deep within, I was unfulfilled and resented the work and the people that surrounded me. I sensed that God was inviting me to step away — to leave the familiar and move into a space of uncertainty. The idea terrified me. I feared I would not be able to cope financially. I worried I would lose the identity and security my job gave me.

I hesitated. Like Lot in today’s first reading, who lingered even when destruction was imminent, I too found it hard to walk away from what I knew. “And as he hesitated, the men took him by the hand, and his wife and two daughters because of the pity the Lord felt for him. They led him out and left him outside the town.” This verse touches me deeply. For even in our hesitation, God’s mercy reaches out and takes us by the hand.

God’s instruction to Lot was clear: “Flee for your life! Don’t look back or stop anywhere on the Plain!” But Lot’s wife looked back, and she was turned into a pillar of salt. It’s a sobering reminder that lingering or looking back can be dangerous when God calls you forward. That backward glance — perhaps of regret, attachment, or doubt — cost her everything.

I think back to the many times I was tempted to ‘look back’ — to return to the corporate world out of fear. But I’ve come to realise that each step forward in faith opened up a new dimension of growth. The path wasn’t easy. There were months when I didn’t know what was next. But in that wilderness, God showed me He was trustworthy.

Today’s Gospel reading reminds me of the emotional and spiritual storms I faced during that time. The disciples, caught in a violent storm, panicked while Jesus slept. When they woke Him, He said, “Why are you so frightened, you men of little faith?” I can hear that same question echoing in my heart during those uncertain years. So many times, I was terrified. But Jesus was always in the boat with me — calm, present, and in control.

Today, as I review where I am in this season, I am grateful that I took the leap of faith. It was not easy — and at times, downright depressing. But I am reminded that God’s grace goes before me — and yet, I am still called to respond with faith. Sometimes, He will grasp my hand when I am too afraid to move. Other times, He will ask me to stop looking back, and trust that He is doing a new thing. And in my many storms, He reminds me: “I am here.”

Yes, grace is extended. But the choices we make in response to that grace shape the direction of our lives. I pray that when God calls again — whether to leave, to stay, or to trust — I will move forward, not backward, with my eyes fixed on Him.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Geraldine Nah)

Prayer: Lord, When I hesitate, take my hand. When I fear, speak peace to my storm. Help me trust You more each day and to move forward without looking back. May my faith grow even when the path is unclear.

Thanksgiving:  Thank You, Lord, for Your mercy when I falter and Your grace that leads me on. Thank You for every storm You’ve calmed and every step You’ve guided. I am grateful You never let go. Amen.