Thursday of Week 22 in Ordinary Time
Col 1:9-14
Lk 5:1-11
“…but if you say so…”
We often can’t see what’s ahead of us. This is especially true for what God’s plan is for us. I can still remember very vividly one morning, what Jesus told me to do. For months, I had been praying for a way out of my two-decade long job, because I was feeling the heat of the work pressure and I wanted a change in job. I blame it on CER (Conversion Experience Retreat). It’s the post-CER effect where my work life suddenly didn’t feel right, and my spirit was eager to follow Jesus. My work life, which felt so good for 20 years, had fallen out of sync with my spiritual life – a life that God was preparing me for. So, I began looking for more meaningful jobs, such as social work. My heart felt right in serving the poor, needy and disadvantaged. But that didn’t happen.
One morning, sleepily in the bathroom, I heard two words — “stay put”. Wait, what?!! Did I hear correctly? I knew what it was referring to and I was so upset with Jesus that day. After knowing (and seeing) how much stress I had been under, how could he ask that of me? But before I went any further with my emotions, a colleague, who saw how distraught I was that day, told me to step out of the office, have a breather, and go to a nearby church to pray. So, I did the next best thing. I went to the Adoration room in Church of St Bernadette and started to pour my heart out. It was then that I understood what the Lord wanted me to learn – OBEDIENCE. After much crying, I finally relented and told the Lord that I will be obedient and ‘stay put’ in my job for however long he wanted me to.
Brothers and sisters, this might have been construed to be a test of faith. But this did not mean that I should still give up trying altogether, right? Well, a couple of weeks later, an idea sprouted in my mind. I knew it was an inspiration that must have sprung from the Holy Spirit. I soon found myself a way out and within a month, I got a job that I had personally pitched for. But I considered it a transition job — which allowed me to still be in touch with the old (work with the media) and yet new (moving into an unfamiliar area called content marketing). In that one and a half years there, I spent a year looking for another job. The fire in my spirituality was often put out. A good thing out of storms and trials is that we are pushed to turn to the Lord even more. The place I had thought would align with my work and spirituality turned out to be a façade for something dark. It was time for another exit. I learnt why I had to transition to that place — only to prepare myself for the next.
I believe I have come full circle from rejecting my first MOE job to ending up as an educator in a polytechnic. God always has the last laugh. Over these years, I’ve learnt many lessons on docility and obedience to his will. As long as I remain open, keep myself available for any of his calls, I know that everything will be alright.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Cynthia Chew)
Prayer: Dear Abba Father, we often want to control our own lives. Ultimately, you are our potter and we are the clay. You are our Father, who knows what’s best for his children. Give us the graces we need to make this journey right, to stay humble and obedient in following your way. Don’t let us stray too far! Keep us close to you. Amen.
Thanksgiving: Thank you Jesus our Lord and Saviour, for walking with us through the valley of darkness, and to the top of the mountain. The road ahead may be rocky or hilly, but you will show us the way. You already started to lead the way when you made that painful walk on Calvary. Thank you, and we love you. Amen.
OXYGEN 
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