Thursday of the 4th Week of Lent
Exo 32:7-14
Jn 5:31-47
“How can you believe, since you look to one another for approval and are not concerned with the approval that comes from the one God?”
This verse from John 5:44 resonates deeply with me, because it reflects my constant struggle with seeking validation from the world rather than from God.
‘How will people think of me?’ is the narrative that often runs in my mind, that in turn governs my words and my actions. Despite my husband’s reassurances that others’ opinions shouldn’t matter, I find myself constantly bound by this fear of disapproval. I had hoped that with age would come confidence, and that I would be less concerned with others’ judgment of me. Yet, this burden remains a constant companion on my journey.
From childhood, I have always diligently pursued approval from various sources – parents, peers, teachers, and later, from colleagues and superiors at work. When I was in school, academic achievements and athletic accolades were my currency for acceptance. And I had worked very hard to excel in these areas, so that my parents would be proud of me.
The need for approval continued into my working life. The script of my life revolved around societal benchmarks of success – climbing the corporate ladder, making enough money to be deemed successful, and maintaining appearances. For me, it was less about gaining material wealth as it was about acceptance and approval from the people around me – my peers, my colleagues, my superiors at work.
Where was God in my life amidst this quest for approval? He was always there, but I did not ask for his help. I was relying on my own ability. I tried to do everything on my own with the view to please others. I even lapsed in my faith for several years. I just wasn’t too concerned then about what God thought of me.
Today’s verse serves as a poignant reminder – how can I have faith in the Lord when my heart is consumed by the desire for worldly approval? Even if the world deems me lacking or foolish, what value does their validation hold in comparison to God’s grace? “For what shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his soul?” (Mark 8:36)
So why, then, is there this need for approval from others? Reflecting on this, I realise that my yearning for approval stems from fear – fear of being unloved if I fail to meet society’s standards of success. Yet, “perfect love casts out fear,” (1 John 4:18) and who but the Lord himself can give us this love? Why am I seeking from people what God is already providing?
In this season of Lent, I have been praying with Hallow’s Pray40 challenge, and the theme this year is on ‘surrender’. I am reminded of the futility of relying on my own strength – that the solution to our problems is not giving up and running away, or trying even harder to make things work. Instead, it is to acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers, to surrender and give control to God.
It is not easy for me to let go of control, but this Lent, I am striving to relinquish a bit more of my fears and insecurities each day and surrendering them to the One who offers unconditional love and acceptance. Brothers and sisters, if you are also struggling with the weight of others’ expectations, I invite you to join me on this journey of surrender. Let us release our fears and embrace the peace that comes from seeking approval not from the world, but from our loving Creator.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Esther Leet)
Prayer: Lord Jesus, help me to not be overly concerned about what others think of me, but to be focused on you, and to entrust everything to you. O Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.
Thanksgiving: Thank you, Lord, for the gift of your love and your peace.
OXYGEN 
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