Tuesday of Holy Week
Isa 49:1-6
Jn 13:21-33,36-38
“It is the one to whom I give the piece of bread that I shall dip in the dish.”
Today’s Scripture reading is the vivid tale of Judas, the pivotal character whose actions, to his dismay, directly lead to Christ’s crucifixion. We all know the story — how he was one of the Twelve Apostles, how he was trusted by Christ and became keeper of the purse, how he struck his bargain with the chief priests for a few pieces of silver, and how he eventually killed himself when the gravity of his actions became evident.
“It is the one to whom I hand the morsel after I have dipped it”. Why would Jesus signal to Judas so openly, and to everyone else at the feast too, yet none seemed to notice except Judas? Every action in the Passover Feast is symbolic. The ritual of dipping the morsel symbolizes the tears shed by the Hebrews in their captivity. Did Judas take offence at what he perceived was a slight?
As a child, my need for clearly defined ideas of right and wrong meant that I only ever saw Judas as ‘the bad guy’. But the certitude of my youth has fallen away in adulthood, and I now wonder if he wasn’t just someone who made some bad decisions because he was badly advised, and realized too late what he had done. I don’t believe he started out a bad guy. Why would Christ have chosen him as one of the Twelve if he was all bad? Why would he have given back the silver, if he was all bad? I think of Judas now, like a parable. He’s the cautionary tale of someone who was ambitious and motivated, a little naïve, who perhaps was easily offended and because of these very relatable flaws, was manipulated by the chief priests for their own ends. Aren’t we also sometimes ambitious, motivated, naïve, easily offended and misguided? Quick to make decisions, quick to jump to conclusions, quick to take offence? That is all of us, I would say. I look at Judas now, and I see myself. All the times I was certain and wrong. All the times I was rash and made bad decisions. All the times I spoke too soon, or made too much of small insults. All the times I did not lean on God to guide my wisdom, but let my own shallow understanding drive bad decisions.
As we enter Holy Week, let us all reflect on this story with new eyes. Let us have compassion for all its players, all their roles in the arc of this story, feel their internal conflict, and ask God for His mercy and His grace, to guide us to new understanding. “In you, O Lord, I take refuge; let me never be put to shame” (Psalm 71:1-2)
(Today’s OXYGEN by Sharon Soo)
Prayer: We pray Lord, for the discernment and the humility to see every aspect of our lives through the filter of Your will for us. We pray for Your grace and mercy. Help us to make good decisions. Save us from ourselves.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks for the Holy Spirit, who inspires us, and guides us on the narrow path.
OXYGEN 
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