30 May, Thursday — Humility Revisited

Thursday of Week 8 in Ordinary Time

1 Pet 2:2-5,9-12
Mk 10:46-52

“Son of David, Jesus, have pity on me.”

Today’s readings really spoke to me, especially when I looked at the behaviour of Bartimaeus (which isn’t his name — ‘Bartimaeus’ means “the son of Timaeus”)

Last year at this time, I had been struggling for a few weeks. My responsibilities at work increased significantly with a project that I had been working on, and I have found myself running through scenarios to ensure that I had covered as much ground as possible. I found myself sleeping less and thinking a lot more. Without realising it, I had become more troubled.

Then in early May, we lost our dog, Belle, due to old age. She had lived to the ripe old age of 17. We adopted her when she had just turned ten and have experienced nothing but love from her. Honestly, I was surprised by how hard the loss hit me.

Without realising it, I had turned melancholic with these pressures.

I got a ‘Bartimaeus moment’ recently, however, when I watched a Korean movie called “The Divine Fury”, which tells the story of a priest who carries out exorcism rites. Without giving the plot away, one of the scenes hit me hard. The priest, Father Ahn, was facing some critical challenges and was deeply burdened. In that scene, Father Ahn was praying, and he started out his prayer with, “Oh Jesus… I am burdened”.

That hit me.

Watching that made me realise I had been functioning on my strength during this challenging period. I had depended on my own will to face the challenges at work, and I had depended on my resilience to plough through the sadness of losing Belle.

I stopped and prayed and lifted all these challenges and difficulties to God; and experienced peace that I hadn’t felt in the past few months. Who would have thought watching a horror movie would remind me to turn to my ever-present Father? How powerful a simple prayer like “Oh Jesus… I am burdened” and lifting all these burdens do for us? 

Following that moment of clarity, I continued to sit with the Spirit and allowed myself to reflect. Fast forward to January of this year, I handed in my notice and have since left the company.

The reason I share this is that, while it appears that my decision to leave my job appeared to stem from the one moment of realisation, the reality is that this realisation allowed me to, once again, ‘plug into’ the constant connection with our Lord. It was this whole period of connection that continues to speak to me, and allows me to continue on my faith journey.

Brothers and sisters, will you be like Bartimaeus and turn to Him? Rather than a ‘once-off’ connection, let this moment be the start of a continued, and constant, conversation and relationship with our Lord.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Paul Wee)

Prayer: Help me Father, to always remember to turn to You. Help me to remember that I never have to be alone to face challenges in life; that I always have You.

Thanksgiving: Thank You, Jesus, for Your constant reminder that You are always journeying with me as I navigate life. Thank you for the moments which reconnect me to You.