14 June, Friday — Are divorce and adultery sins?

Friday of Week 10 in Ordinary Time

1 Kgs 19:9,11-16
Mt 5:27-32

“…everyone who divorces his wife…makes her an adulteress; and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Is divorce a sin for Jews and Christians? Today’s gospel reading clearly states ‘Yes’, as it leads to adultery. Jesus even cited Moses’ teaching that allowed the man to divorce his wife (by giving her a bill of divorce) to emphasise that this was not what God intended. 

Is divorce and remarriage still considered a sin for Christians today? Apparently not. Indeed, it seems a minor issue for most Protestant denominations. The Catholic Church also accepts divorce through the Canon law doctrine of annulment (as if the Sacrament of Marriage did not take place at all).

Does this then mean that adultery is not a sin or, at least, not serious anymore? Objectively speaking, the answer is ‘Yes’. Western secular society had long ago de-stigmatised adultery, divorce and remarriage. This changing societal attitude has also been accepted by the Christian faith there. A recent report from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops reported that 21% of Catholic marriages ended in divorce. Furthermore, 62% of Catholics want the church to relax rules for Catholics looking to remarry in church or to receive communion. This trend is also common for Christians in the rest of the world.

I wonder then, is Jesus’ teaching outdated today? Can we ‘update’ the spoken words of Jesus to reflect current societal values? These are hard questions indeed. There are no good answers from me, as any position will cause controversy.

Nevertheless, I remember Jesus’ teaching about the danger of using scripture to pervert God’s teaching. Several years ago, my neighbour went through a difficult divorce. Her husband had an affair with her own friend (proved in family courts without any reasonable doubt). The ex-husband then married this lady in a Protestant church with full blessings from the pastor. Subsequently, the pastor told my neighbour that since her ex-husband is now married to another person, she (the aggrieved party) must not harbour any more sexual desires for him or she will be committing adultery! I was speechless!

We humans are social and sexual. While married, we are naturally attracted to others, even to the point of having sexual relations with them. This makes marriage difficult. Only Jesus can change our human nature. With a Christian marriage, it becomes a sacrament. A covenant between God, husband and wife. Jesus will help us love deeply and, hopefully, forever. 

(Today’s OXYGEN by Andrew Sia)

Prayer: Lord, help married couples remain in your love. Help those looking to marry find the right spouse for a faithful journey together.

Thanksgiving: Thank you Lord, for the gift of deep love in marriage.