Thursday of Week 15 in Ordinary Time
Isa 26:7-9,12,16-19
Mt 11: 28-30
“Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest.“
I have always read this verse from Matthew’s gospel as being about death. The line “I will give you rest” also appears in the hymn, ‘Be not afraid’, which I had also assumed was about death. And this belief was underscored by the movie Dead Man Walking, when a nun sang this hymn to the death row prisoner she had been counselling. I suppose this verse does not necessarily have to do with death, but it just felt very much like it. Perhaps it was my ’emo phase’ that made me see it that way, or perhaps it was just the Catholic obsession with death, as a Protestant friend once jokingly put it.
Looking closely at this verse now, and with an additional decade or two of life behind me, I can see how this verse may not be about death; at least, not about physical death. It could point to a spiritual or emotional death. Which could well be much worse than physical death. Who hasn’t felt emotionally drained, spiritually barren, mentally exhausted? It has been a long while since those halcyon ’emo’ days of my youth, and I am now older and achier, and hopefully wiser. And I am most certainly more tired and desperately in need of some rest as I survive day after day on too much caffeine and too little sleep.
We all have labours, our own cares and worries. And these things take a toll on us. A couple of close friends and I have a Whatsapp chat going, and everyday without fail, at least one of us is complaining about something that makes them die a little inside. And boy do I die a little inside many many times a day, all day, everyday. I guess it comes with the territory of being a stay at home mum — the endless routine chores over and over again, plus the many fires that require putting out, and then the special fun projects every now and again so the kids can have a break from schoolwork. It would probably be the same for any other person that has responsibilities.
We need breaks for ourselves. Self-care, they call it, especially here in Singapore, where the people are very highly stressed. And the weariness is not only physical. A lot of it is mental, emotional, spiritual. Although self-care sounds like it should involve something elaborate, it can also be a simple, short exercise during which you take stock of your day, review what you have done, resolve to do better, and give thanks for all that was good. If this sounds like a daily examen, it is because I am referring to a daily examen.
I have already heard about the daily examen, but I had not tried it out. My husband had recently picked up a handy guide on it and I thought I would give it a shot. I have only gone through it a few times, and it was surprisingly refreshing. I had thought it would have been a heavy, reflexive exercise, but it was not. It was a relaxing break, a quiet time, a time for letting my mind go through the day, to find the good parts and give myself a pat on the back; to assess what the mistakes were and plan to do better and above all, to see where God was through all of this. And He was certainly everywhere. Maybe not always obviously, not always in the way you expected, maybe not giving you the response you desired. But He was there alright.
All I did was to read, think, and reflect. I did not journal as some others do (because I’m lazy, and tired) but it was still a lovely retreat. Now my nerves are stilled, my heart content, my sense of self fulfilled. Going through the examen was a way better and more productive use of my time than mindlessly scrolling through social media. We are meant to rest our minds and our hearts as well as our bodies, and going through an examen, however short, does provide us with such a respite. In contrast, skimming the Internet just floods your brain with useless information that it then has to process, as if your mind wasn’t frazzled enough to begin with.
On the 7th day, God rested. God himself took a break. And He is inviting us to take breaks, for we are not meant to be exhausted. He is the shepherd who leads us to peaceful pastures and refreshes us. He nourishes our souls and feeds our hearts. Above all, He watches over all we do with an everlasting love. It is important that we know just how much God loves us, then we can also learn to love ourselves, and treat ourselves the way God wants us to. Let us follow where He leads, let us come away and rest for a bit in His love.
We all experience burnout and fatigue. We need breaks. We need to constantly reflect on our lives to see where we are headed, and if that is the right direction for us. Personally, some days I question why I do the things I do. I could go back to work and have a much easier time where I get to sit, where I get a proper lunch break, where I do not have to care if my colleagues have brushed their teeth or drunk enough water. Of course, on some bad days, I resent my lack of sleep and overall busyness; but on good days, especially after the daily examen, I can see why I do this, and I am very thankful that I have the chance to do this, to be around for my children and family at this time when they need me the most, and any resentment or negativity just disappears.
It is probably necessary then, to at least occasionally reflect on our lives. To look at what we have done and to be thankful for the good as well as the bad, which really are opportunities for growth. A daily (or not so daily) examen is a great way to achieve this calmness of mind. 10 upon 10 is my recommendation.
Link to daily examen: https://www.catholic.sg/the-daily-examen/
(Today’s OXYGEN by Felicia Zou)
Prayer: Dear Lord, You know how weary we get sometimes. You know how we can stumble and fall. You know how we are at times tempted to run away from all of this. Grant us the grace to see Your love for us, to take Your outstretched hand, to let You lead us to rest.
Thanksgiving: Dear Lord, we thank You for the peace and respite You give to us. May we never forget Your love for us.
OXYGEN 
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