Good Friday
Isa 52:13-53:12
Heb 4:14-16,5:7-9
Jn 18:1-19:42
“Who are you looking for?”
Last weekend, we had our now-regular 2nd Saturday overnight vigil in CSC. As we were still in Lent, the vigil was ‘structured’ according to different segments, which were led by different prayer leaders. As part of the Vigil Core team, I have had the privilege of seeing this effort grow into a ‘small movement’ which has brought forth and surfaced new ministry members who are taking the lead in planning, preparation and even leading prayers and singing.
When our spiritual director, our dear Msgr Peter, told us last September that he wanted to do 20 monthly vigils, our initial thoughts were, “How will we sustain this?” and “What, another programme on top of our regular stuff? How will be survive?!!” Yet, eight vigils on, I can attest that the spirit indeed is flowing among us each time we gather around the Blessed Sacrament, which is exposed from 11pm till 5am the next morning (Sunday), when Msgr Peter says mass. I usually do not stay on as I have my parish mass to sing at (7am) and have to head home (around 2am) to catch a short nap.
This particular weekend though, I felt the urge to stay till just before mass began. As I supported on my violin for some segments and scanned the hall, I could truly feel Jesus among us. At one point, I walked to the back of the hall just to get a sense of whether the AV system was working well and if a particular prayer leader could be heard. As I gazed over the crowd (there were at least 150 of us at one point), arms raised in worship and all focussed on the monstrance in the centre (we were arranged in roughly a concentric semicircle facing Him) I was taken back to the upper room where the apostles had gathered and felt the divine warmth of His real presence.
It prompted me to head back to the music area and just play my violin, with tears streaming down my face. This was the same warmth I felt at my Conversion Experience Retreat in May 2011, when He enveloped me in His loving arms. The feeling of peace, joy and love was so tangible and awesome. Funnily enough, towards the end of the next segment, when the prayer leader stumbled on starting her song, I myself drew a ‘blank’ and struggled to open my mouth. That was when another worship leader stepped in to fill the gap and I just smiled and played on. It was as if He was telling me to focus on one gift at a time, and to just use the instrument He had blessed me with.
Brothers and sisters, today is a day with a lot of mixed emotions for those of us who contemplate on His Passion. We ask many questions that seemingly have various answers, depending on one’s perspective. I offer one that is deeply personal and always gives me hope – whatever we are going through now in our lives, whether it is a divorce, an unexpected death (especially of a child), a serious illness (cancer, a tumour in a major organ), financial difficulty (retrenchment, a result of a scam), estrangement from a loved one…<add your own crosses> — Jesus has borne it all for us and there is hope for us, as long as we believe in Him.
I pray that today, as we reflect on Christ’s enormous sacrifice for all of us, we can look back on our own journeys and see how He revealed himself to us during our times of ‘suffering’. And that we truly appreciate his presence in our lives moving forward. In every situation, every encounter.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Desmond Soon)
Prayer: We pray that you continue to reveal yourself to us, especially in times of desolation. That you assure us of your presence in our daily struggles, so as to provide us with comfort and assurance that all will eventually be well.
Thanksgiving: Thank you Lord, for your ultimate sacrifice.
OXYGEN 
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