Aug 13 – Memorial for St. Pontian, pope, martyr, and St. Hippolytus, priest, martyr
Pontian was among the first victims of an anti-Christian new emperor. Rounded up with the antipope Hippolytus, Pontian was deported to the labour mines. While imprisoned, Hippolytus reconciled his differences with Pontian and even ordered his followers to bring themselves back to the Church. Before he succumbed to the harsh treatment of the mines, Hippolytus became a true confessor of Christ. Pontian, in the mines only two months, was brutally beaten to death by his jailers.
- Patron Saint Index
Deu 34:1-12
Mt 18:15-20
“If he listens to you, you have won back your brother.”
Today’s Gospel passage outlines a process for addressing sin and conflict within a Christian community, emphasizing restoration and reconciliation. It directs believers to first approach the offender privately, then with witnesses, and finally, if necessary, to the church for resolution. This passage underscores the importance of communal responsibility in addressing sin, and the commitment to forgiveness and restoration within the church.
The initial step involves a one-on-one conversation between the offended person and the one who has caused offense. This allows for a private, and potentially restorative, dialogue.
The goal of this private conversation is not to condemn or shame the offender, but to restore the relationship and help them turn from sin. Some biblical interpretations emphasize that the confrontation should be done with love, gentleness, and a desire for reconciliation.
The rest of the Gospel passage details the employment of witnesses, involving the larger church community and finally, the consequences of continued unrepentance.
To me, it is the very first step that is the most important – the private conversation that is hopefully restorative. Yet often, I find this the hardest to do. It always seems easier to have a witness, to bring out the Church ‘rule book’. But, to actually walk up to someone and say “You hurt me because of..”, is not easy for me.
My son L, turns 3 today. He is no longer a toddler and now, finally, a pre-schooler. He very much demonstrates his thoughts and wishes in his day to day activities. He is definitely an extrovert, who enjoys engaging with any one he encounters — often with complete strangers!
At 3, he has these big emotions but is not yet ready to moderate them. From the time he was born, L has often had difficulty in waiting to have his tummy filled. As an infant, if he woke up and his milk was not warmed and ready for him – gosh, our entire row of neighbours definitely got to know that L was up!!
But he did learn to share better than his sister M, who is 2 years older. He also learnt to honour his commitments — “Shall we sleep after this last episode of Peppa Pig?” And yes, L would turn over, close his eyes and try to fall asleep. He might not always succeed, but he would not ask for more screen time.
But as the months grew, both my dear spouse and I realized that we had a very strong-willed child. If L made up his mind to do something, he would keep trying till he succeeded. L also has a great need for independence. There is a lot of “I will show you, Daddy” as he insists on fastening the safety buckle in his car seat (him opening it at will, is a whole different discussion!).
Sometimes, when I am able to sit L down to correct him, he would fold his arms and turn away. I used to get upset with him, and we would end up with a sobbing L. Lately though, I just say, “ L, if you cannot look me in the eye and talk, maybe we do not talk”.
Then, barely 5 seconds would pass and L would cool down and reach out to me. We try and converse and he shakes my hand with a fresh promise (only to be broken 30 minutes later!). But L is 3; I am sure he meant to keep the promise when he made it, but got caught up with his excitement or emotions. So we try again.
As the weeks progress to months, both my spouse and I realize that it is because L is not willing to lose the connectivity and bond with his Dad or Mum. He is a child who would give you a big hug if you asked him for one.
Maybe this is something for me to take heed of with regards to my relationships. I still find that initial chat difficult. Is it a demonstration of my vulnerability? Is it a signal that I would give in, despite me not being at fault? Is it a sign that I ‘lose face’, as I am the one pushing for the relationship?
It could be a combination of all 3. But my takeaway is that if like L, I value that relationship, then I would take that very first step in making amends and seeking a private reconciliation with my brother or sister. Yes, it is the hardest; but it is also the best in preserving the relationship.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Gerard Francis)
Prayer: We pray for the courage to make that first step in preserving the relationships that matter.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks for the messages you deliver to us to guide us along way.
OXYGEN 
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