26 October, Sunday — When Prayer Becomes Honest

30^th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Ecc 35:12-14,16-19
2 Tim 4:6-8,16-18
Lk 18:9-14

“God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”

This week’s Gospel is stark in its contrast — the Pharisee stands tall, reciting his good deeds, while the tax collector stays at a distance, unable even to lift his eyes, and simply begs for mercy. Jesus leaves no ambiguity as he told his followers that “the latter went home justified.”

There’s something about this story that unsettles me. I like to think I pray sincerely; but if I’m honest, my heart often resembles the Pharisee’s. I catalogue my efforts — the work I’ve done, the sacrifices I’ve made, even the spiritual disciplines I try to keep. I want God to notice, to affirm that I am on the right track. Yet, the Gospel reminds me that prayer is not performance. It is surrender.

In this season of my life — navigating new rhythms, balancing studies and family, and contributing through writing — I often wonder if I am “doing enough”. That restlessness can creep into my prayer, making me anxious to prove my worth. But Jesus shows me that what God desires is not a résumé of achievements, but the raw truth of my heart. The tax collector prayed only a handful of words, but they were real. They sprang from humility, dependence, and trust.

Humility is not pretending I have nothing good to offer. It is recognising that every good gift, whether the chance to study, to mother, or to write reflections like these, comes first from God’s mercy. And so I return to prayer, not as a presentation, but as a homecoming where I don’t need to explain myself…only to be honest.

This week, I want to pray less like the Pharisee and more like the tax collector; not because I have nothing to give, but because everything I give rests on grace. My truest prayer might be the simplest: Lord, have mercy on me. Make my life itself a response to Your love.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Stephanie Eber)

Prayer: Lord, strip away my pretence in prayer. Help me to come before You with honesty and humility.

Thanksgiving: Thank You for receiving me not because of what I achieve, but because of who You are – a merciful and loving God.