31 December, Wednesday — A sense of belonging

7^th day within the Octave of Christmas

1 Jn 2:18-21
Jn 1:1-18

…if they had belonged, they would have stayed with us; but they left us…

Why do people leave the Church? Is it because they didn’t feel they belonged? Because they couldn’t find a community they could relate to, or a place where they felt truly welcomed?

I have friends who grew up in Catholic environments who are now atheists or agnostics. When I read this verse from 1 John, I can’t help but wonder — if they had truly felt they belonged, would they have stayed with us?

Recently, one of my teenage goddaughters shared that she had attended a Christian youth worship service with her friends instead of going to Sunday Mass. She spoke enthusiastically about the praise and worship and asked, “Why don’t we have this?”

I was quick to explain that we do have praise and worship sessions in the Catholic Church, but that these do not replace the liturgy, nor are they part of Sunday Mass. I suggested similar youth programmes she could join, only to realise that for those under 16, the options are largely limited to catechism and confirmation preparation. How do we keep young people engaged when catechism feels uninspiring to them, and when there are limited options for connection and community? (Thankfully, she is still attending catechism.)

To be honest, I can understand her search for connection — because I’ve been there myself. In my twenties, after returning from overseas studies, I drifted away from the Church. My parish youth group had dissolved, and the few prayer meetings I attended left me feeling like an outsider. Most of my peers had already left, leaving behind mainly my parents’ generation. Gradually, the sense that I did not belong grew stronger.

Eventually, I stopped attending church regularly. On the few occasions when I did go to Mass, I church-hopped — choosing whichever church was closest, at the most convenient time. There was no attachment, no rootedness, and no community.

It wasn’t until I met my husband — the nice Catholic boy that he was — that I began attending Sunday Mass regularly again. Going to the same church, at the same Mass time, helped me feel more engaged. Seeing familiar faces, exchanging smiles, and sharing simple greetings made all the difference.

Still, it wasn’t until I moved to the West district, joined my current parish, and became active in ministry that I experienced something deeper. There was a sense of coming home, a feeling of belonging I couldn’t quite explain, but knew unmistakably.

According to Google, the definition of ‘belonging’ is ‘the emotional experience of feeling genuinely welcome, accepted, valued, and safe enough to be one’s authentic self without fear of judgment.’

I believe that deep down, all of us carry this desire — to belong, to be comfortable with, and to be accepted as part of a community. I know parishioners, even active ministry members, who travel over an hour to attend Mass or to serve at our parish. When I ask them why, their answer is always the same — they felt a sense of belonging when they first stepped in, and kept returning.

The Lord created us for community — no one is meant to walk the journey of faith alone. The question we are invited to reflect on, then, is this: how do we extend genuine hospitality to those who are searching for a place to belong? How can we create spaces where people feel genuinely welcomed and safe enough to stay?

I am not saying that a sense of belonging alone is enough to keep someone in the Church. Our faith is ultimately rooted in truth, sacrament, and a living relationship with Christ. But belonging can be the doorway — the place where hearts feel safe enough to stay and listen.

For now, my goddaughter has continued attending services at the Christian worship centre, especially during the Christmas season. While this worries me, it also invites deeper reflection. Perhaps the Lord is calling us — not to compete, but to become more intentional in welcoming, accompanying, and walking with those who are searching for a place to belong.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Esther Leet)

Prayer: Lord Jesus, open my eyes to those who are longing for acceptance and a place to belong. Guide me to reach out with humility and love, so that through genuine welcome, they may come to know You more deeply and remain close to You. Amen.

Thanksgiving: Thank You, Lord, for the gift of community and for never giving up on any of us, even when we wander. Help us to trust Your work and to be instruments of welcome in Your hands. Amen.