Ash Wednesday
Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent and occurs forty days before Easter (excluding Sundays). It falls on a different date each year, because it is dependent on the date of Easter; it can occur as early as Feb 4 or as late as Mar 10.
Ash Wednesday gets its name from the practice of placing ashes on the foreheads of the faithful as a sign of repentance. The ashes used are gathered after the palm branches from the previous year’s Palm Sunday are burned. In the liturgical practice of some churches, the ashes are mixed with the Oil of the Catechumens, though some churches use ordinary oil. This paste is used by the clergyman who presides at the service to make the sign of the cross, first upon his own forehead and then on each of those present. As he does so, he recites the words: “Remember (O man) that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
Ash Wednesday is a day of repentance and it marks the beginning of Lent. Ashes were used in ancient times, according to the Bible, to express mourning. Dusting oneself with ashes was the penitent’s way of expressing sorrow for sins and faults.
- Wikipedia
Penitence is an essential part of the Christian life, for none of us can measure up to the tremendous vocation that is ours as Christians. We are in constant need of the mercy and forgiveness of God. Today we express this by taking part in an impressive corporate act of penitence and reconciliation, beseeching God for the grace to use with profit the ‘favourable time’ of preparation for the celebration of Christ’s Passover feast.
- the Sunday Missal
Jl 2:12-18
2 Cor 5:20 – 6:2
Mt 6:1-6,16-18
“Be careful not to parade your good deeds before men to attract their notice; by doing this you will lose all reward from your father in heaven.”
Like other ‘Gen X’ types, I am in that turn in the cycle of life where my surviving parent (and parents in-law) are starting to show the deleterious signs of age. My father has gone, after a long fight with cancer. My mother is healthy and still in possession of her faculties but is no longer the force she used to be. My parents-in-law, once loud and opinionated, are slipping into senescence. It seems to be happening very fast, and all at the same time. It feels like a new war is at my door, and I am not prepared for it.
My father lost his battle with cancer some years ago. At the end, he welcomed the release of death. There were more bad days than good days, and the bad cycles lasted longer than the good ones did. It took a village to ease him on his way. All of us, my mother’s family, their friends, priests, spiritual directors, kind strangers, all the angels that God sends your way to help you survive a war. At my father’s funeral, I remember meeting all these people, who in big and small ways, made his life easier and brighter. I was grateful for every one of them, and for all their efforts and their prayers. I still am.
When you’re in the trenches (because that’s what it felt like when I was with Dad), there isn’t room for reflection. You can only think a few weeks ahead – when is Dad’s next chemo; is Mom going to be ok going with him; should you fly home; how long should you stay; how that fits with your work commitments; are there sufficient funds; how much longer can those funds last. You think only of practical things. When you have a moment to breathe, you think also of how everyone’s time has been taken from them. Yours and Mom’s, as she was his primary caregiver. Your family’s because there will no longer be joyful family holidays. You think of how everyone has had to pivot, you think of Mom’s sacrifice, of your sacrifice. There’s a lot of brooding that goes on in the trenches. And on the bad days, that brooding becomes anger and bitterness. You lash out – “Why am I the one who has to do this, why me, where is everyone else?”. You wallow in the resentment that comes with having something foisted on you. “Why me, why am I facing this alone?” And you obsess over ‘resource accounting’ – who is bringing what to the table, why are some people not holding their end up, why are so and so not doing their part. All of this is unhelpful, but also unavoidable. We want some kind of explanation for our circumstances, some reward for our suffering, some acknowledgement of our sacrifice, our grievances heard. “I want to be seen! Do you not see me?”, to use the vernacular of the current generation. This is the stage when fractures happen. If there is no strong hand holding everyone together, if God is not the cornerstone on which a family is built, this is where families and friendships fail.
I am not sure how we survived my father’s fight with cancer. I don’t know how we will survive this war on aging that is upon us now. God intervened the last time my family dealt with illness. He led us to safe ground — He saved us from ourselves. He lifted us across the tumult and saved my family from the damage of my resentment and resource accounting. He saved us from tearing up our relationships in our grief, stress and exhaustion. He saved us. He has been our armour, our chariot, our strength. As we try to help our parents age with grace and dignity, I pray that God once again, saves us from ourselves. I pray that God helps us to fight this new war, that he girds us, and arms us, and guides us. That He is merciful, and grants us patience, love, compassion. That He grants us Time. The long days and long nights are coming. The fight is at our door. It is here, and I don’t know if I have the strength for it.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Sharon Soo)
Prayer: We pray for God’s mercy, for His guidance, for His strength as we try to make good decisions for our parents, and help them to age with grace, dignity and love.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks for all the people God sends us, to help us in our fight. We give thanks for their selflessness, their generosity of heart, their love, their support and their compassion. We give thanks for them.
OXYGEN 
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