24 Apr – Memorial for St. Fidelis of Sigmaringen, priest & martyr
St. Fidelis Sigmaringen (1577-1622) was a lawyer and teacher of philosophy. Disgusted by the greed, corruption, and lack of interest in justice by his fellow lawyers, Mark Rey abandoned the law, became a priest and a Franciscan friar with his brother George. He changed his name to Fidelis and gave away his worldly wealth to poor people in general, and poor seminarians in particular. He served his friary as guardian and worked in epidemics, especially healing soldiers. He led a group of Capuchins to preach to Calvinists and Zwinglians in Switzerland. The success of this work, and lack of violence suffered by mission was attributed to Fidelis spending his nights in prayer. He was, however, eventually martyred for his preaching.
“Woe to me if I should prove myself but a halfhearted soldier in the service of my thorn-crowned Captain.” — St. Fidelis
Acts 9:1-20
Jn 6:52-59
He began preaching in the synagogues…
Imagine the awkwardness of the setting – here was Paul, or rather, Saul of Tarsus, as most would’ve known him then. He had made a name for himself persecuting Christ and the early disciples. Now struck blind, surely this was a sign of God’s displeasure? If you were Ananias, would you believe that Saul was to be God’s chosen instrument? How thick must have been the tension in that dwelling, with all the other disciples? The mistrust, the anger, the resentment? The incredulity? If we were one of the early disciples in that dwelling, would we have embraced Paul and helped him to fit in? Or would we have regarded him askance?
I’ve always had issues with trust. It comes from being disappointed a lot. Paul would’ve never made my circle of trust. His track record would’ve been a huge stumbling block for me. Which makes Paul’s Damascene conversion even more significant. The incident on the road to Damascus wasn’t just about Paul’s conversion. It was also about the other disciples’ capacity for forgiveness, without which, Paul’s ministry would’ve never gotten off the ground. Because they put aside their personal feelings and vouched for him, Paul was able to embark on a very successful ministry.
What is that like, brothers and sisters, to put aside your personal feelings, your reservations about something, in service of a greater good? We are called to do that all the time, in small ways and big ways. Like when we want to shout at someone, but choose silence instead to maintain the peace at home. Or when we want to call out attention to how we have been wronged, but stay silent because family unity is more important than our wounded pride. Swallowing our feelings — it is possible only by the grace of God. It is very easy to lash out — and most of us do. What’s more difficult is holding on to our emotions, and allowing God to guide the situation.
The next time we feel the urge to yield to our wrath and indignation, let’s pause a moment to consider how God sees the big picture. Are we justified? Does our indignation change anything? Is there maybe something else happening here that we haven’t fully grasped? Take a small pause – it could help.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Sharon Soo)
Prayer: We pray for the presence of mind to take a small pause, when we are in the throes of anger. We pray for the mental strength to not be so easily triggered by others.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks for the Holy Spirit, who guides us and saves us from the baser versions of ourselves.
OXYGEN 
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