Jul 3 – Feast of St. Thomas, Apostle
Thomas (d. 72) was ready to die with Jesus when Christ went to Jerusalem, but he is best remembered for doubting the Resurrection until allowed to touch Christ’s wounds. He preached in Parthia, Persia and India, though he was so reluctant to start the mission that he had to be taken into slavery by a merchant headed that way.
He eventually gave in to God’s will, was freed, and planted the new Church over a wide area. He formed many parishes and built many churches along the way. An old tradition says that Thomas baptised the wise men from the Nativity into Christianity.
His symbol is the builder’s square. There are several stories that explain it:
- he built a palace for King Guduphara in India
- he built the first church in India with his own hands
- it is representative of building a strong spiritual foundation as he had complete faith in Christ (though initially less in the Resurrection)
- he offered to build a palace for an Indian king that would last forever; the king gave him money, which Thomas promptly gave away to the poor; he explained that the palace he was building was in heaven, not on earth.
- Patron Saint Index
Eph 2:19-22
Jn 20:24-29
“Put your finger here; look, here are my hands. Give me your hand; put it into my side. Doubt no longer but believe.”
The story of Thomas lands differently, now that I’m an adult with some life experience. I used to think of it as just a teaching moment, about belief and faith — ‘Doubting Thomas’ — who wouldn’t believe until he could see with his own eyes.
As an adult, what happens between the lines matters in this story. Christ had just been crucified. His followers were scattered, his disciples confused, his ministry lost. Where was the famous prophecy’s fulfilment? Had they been wrong all this time? Where was God in all this? Why had they been betrayed? Did God betray us and worse, His own son?
If you poured your heart, your time, your sweat and tears, gave up your riches, changed how you lived — all in support of a cause — there is no word but grief for that moment when you’re shown that you were mistaken after all. That cause could be your career, your ideals, your family, your children, your marriage. Thomas’ impassioned cry, “Unless I see…”, is the cry of a man who has lost everything and is now trying to hold on to the last shreds of his dignity. We all talk about the Doubt when we see this story. We don’t really speak of the Grief.
To call his experience a ‘setback’ would be an understatement. The disciples literally had the rug pulled out from under them. All they fought for, sacrificed for, was it all a lie? If you have lived enough, you’ll have experienced this for yourself at least once. And you’ll remember the confusion, the hurt, the anger and yes, the grief of realizing how much of yourself you let go of. It is not easy to trust again after an experience like this. You second guess everything, especially yourself – “Until I see the mark of the nails in his hands”. You become protective, self-preserving; paranoid, even. You build walls around your heart that no one and nothing can breach.
Thomas had Jesus — in the flesh. The rest of us are required to lean hard into Faith. Faith that, in all our failures and heartbreaks and setbacks, were life lessons that God needed us to learn. Faith that there is always renewal, always redemption for God’s own people. Faith that there is grace for us, and that God sees. Faith that there is a higher power watching who can, and will, right the scales for us. Because if we didn’t have Faith, then all we’d be left with is Doubt. And that is no way to live our lives.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Sharon Soo)
Prayer: We pray for the grace to believe again, after we’ve been hurt and betrayed. We pray that God saves us from an abyss of self-doubt, anger and paranoia. We pray God saves us from ourselves.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks for all the lessons we have learned from everyone who has let us down. We give thanks to the Holy Spirit for sustaining us when we are lost.
OXYGEN 
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