7 November, Monday — Forgiveness

Monday of Week 32 in Ordinary Time

Tit 1:1-9
Lk 17:1-6

“And if he wrongs you seven times a day and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I’m sorry’, you must forgive him.”

Forgiveness can take you by surprise – especially if you’re the one who is being forgiven. Many years ago, my partner and I took a hiatus from each other. During this time, I started seeing someone who, on paper, looked like he was the perfect match. Let’s call him K. We were both Malaysians. We had gone to school together. We had both lived abroad extensively. We came from a similar background, with a similar middle class upbringing. K was offered the opportunity to come out to Asia, to take on a role in China, which made him geographically available. It was all too good to be true. My partner and I discussed it and our view was that I should explore it, seeing as K would fulfill what I would never be able to have with him if I stayed – a chance to have children and a shared cultural background. So I wasted the better part of a year, trying to convince myself that this was the right thing because on paper, K and I looked so good together.

I know now that what ‘looks good on paper’ doesn’t necessarily translate to real life. K as it turned out, was someone who believed in being economical with the truth. In addition, he had a fairly casual understanding of the concept of fidelity. We did not last, unsurprisingly. The last I heard of K, he was living the ‘young, upwardly mobile, single man’s dream’ – except that K is now no longer a single man and is technically married to the Chinese woman he cheated on me with. Nowhere ‘on paper’ did it ever say that K was the cheat that he turned out to be. My partner took me back after I ended things with K. There were few questions asked. When I finally did broach the subject, he simply said, “I could never have given you that, but you needed to see if it was right for you. It was not. Now we move on”.

Forgiveness can take you by surprise, especially if the transgression is something that you would yourself, struggle to forgive. I will never fully comprehend how much I hurt my partner as he is a man of few words. I am deeply appreciative of the love and generosity he has for me, and am humbled because I’m not sure if I would have done the same in his place. Despite my flaws and all the mistakes I’ve made, God still blessed me with him. I sometimes think he came into my life to remind me daily to be a better person, to try to be the ‘good woman’ to his ‘good man’.

No one understands forgiveness like the repentant sinner. God sends us husbands and wives, as tangible evidence of the Redeemer’s tremendous love and sacrifice for us, while we were sinners. When we look into the eyes of our beloved, the tenderness we see is His reflection gazing back, affirming to us that we are loved despite ourselves. I give thanks daily for the wonderful man that God has blessed me with, someone to remind me that while I was a sinner, He blessed me with His forgiveness, His love and His understanding. It is not lost on me, how lucky and undeserving I am.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Sharon Soo)

Prayer: We pray for all couples going through relationship strife. Whatever the quarrel, may they find the forgiveness within themselves to say ‘I love you, it’s ok, let’s move on’.

Thanksgiving: I give thanks for my partner who opened my eyes to the power of forgiveness. I give thanks that God has blessed me with someone to remind me daily to be a better person.