Friday of Week 23 in Ordinary Time
1 Cor 9:16-19,22-27
Lk 6:39-42
“Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly…”
My father-in-law has lost the battle with cancer and dementia. We are gathered as a family, to witness his last few days, and pray for him as he nears his end. He had a moment of lucidity yesterday, a last gasp of life. It is apparently a thing, or at least that is what the hospice people tell me. The body rallies long enough to say its goodbyes. His mind unspooled a stream of memories — a trip he took on an ice boat, eating ice cream and Jello in the sun, going to a dance with his wife, having a laugh with his friends. I watched him act out each of these scenes from some forgotten time. He seemed to revert to an iteration of who he was, in a happier time. He has probably, already, made the leap to a happier place.
I am struggling with all kinds of emotions. I recognize that it is an immense privilege to be with someone as they near their end. But I missed my own father’s passing 10 years ago. My own father battled cancer too, but what killed him was not the chemo. He had a fall and died instantly. I didn’t get the chance to say any last words. I didn’t resolve the argument we had the week before he died. I didn’t get to ask for his forgiveness for being neglectful through his illness, and for spending so much time at work. Being here now, watching my father-in-law fade away, I find myself filled with not just grief, but also a deep resentment for the time I didn’t get with my own father.
9-11 is a day that is extremely difficult for Americans. Even if you did not lose someone in that tragedy, it is a shared grief for all of us, for the words that were left unspoken, for the goodbyes that did not happen, and for the optimism that we lost as a nation. I can rail and rant, at how some family members have not stepped up enough, but 10 years ago, I did not step up either. I was also too busy. I could have been home more, left fewer words unsaid, sought forgiveness quicker, not lose my temper so easily. I could have done more. But I did not. So here I am, left only with regret and self-recrimination.
On this day, as we grieve for all who perished on 9-11 and remember our loved ones who have departed, let us also remember that God’s mercy is boundless. God’s forgiveness is boundless. God’s grace is boundless. God does not go seeking for splinters and wooden beams in eyes that are filled with tears. He holds us in our grief. He meets us where we are and loves us — despite our failure.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Sharon Soo)
Prayer: We pray for all who are grieving. May they find solace and comfort, as they work through this difficult period in their lives.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks for the Holy Spirit, who inspires wisdom and insight, even as we are grieving.
OXYGEN 
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